This article was originally published in Miracle Worker Magazine Issue 181. The theme of the issue is “Turning Blocks into Gifts.” Download a complimentary copy of the magazine here.
As someone who has been given multiple psychiatric anxiety disorder diagnoses throughout my life, I know ego obstacles very well. And thanks to A Course in Miracles, I’ve come to see the ways in which our greatest challenges can be repurposed to reveal hidden gifts.
I have always been a very sensitive person. Whether it was sensitivity to loud noises, harsh words, foods, fear thoughts, or the physical sensations of anxiety, my ultra fine-tuned awareness and sensitive nature can easily lead me into ego hooks and triggers. I can overthink things. I feel deeply. I can’t tolerate watching super emotional or suspenseful movies. I may react to situations that wouldn’t bother other people.
Sensitivities: Liability or asset?
I have always looked at my proclivity for sensitivity as a liability—something wrong with me that needed to be fixed. Under this premise, I tried to use A Course in Miracles to “fix” that which seemed broken in me. My thought was that if I applied Course teachings well enough, my sensitivities should be healed! But what if these sensitivities needed to be repurposed rather than eliminated? What if these sensitivities were somehow gifts? What if the Holy Spirit wanted to meet me where I was (identified as a body) so I could deeply and experientially learn a lesson?
When used by the ego, our sensitivities will convince us that the body is real and susceptible to every negative thing surrounding it. We know as Course students that the body’s senses of seeing, hearing, feeling, etc. will report only separation. The Course even says “The ear translates; it does not hear. The eye reproduces; it does not see” (ACIM, P-2.VI.3:1-2). Yet, everything we have made can be repurposed and used by the Holy Spirit to help us awaken.
A few years back, I went through a particularly challenging time. I saw quite clearly that even after studying A Course in Miracles for over 25 years, some well-entrenched sensitivity patterns remained intact. These sensitivities led me to manifest physical symptoms, sleepless nights, and other challenges, no matter how much I tried to practice the Course’s principles. My sensitivities seemed to take on a life of their own and strengthen my identification with a body.
Because the Course has taught me how to trust the Holy Spirit, I’ve also come to trust my individualized curriculum (ACIM, M-29.2:6). I knew the best thing I could do to move forward through this difficult time without a spiritual bypass would be to look at my patterns more deeply with the Holy Spirit. And so, I did just that.
Repurposing sensitivities
As I asked the Holy Spirit to repurpose all my sensitivities and manifested problems, I began to experience powerful synchronicities. I was guided to learn about the “clair senses” (or “clairs” for short). The clair senses include clairvoyance (intuitive guidance that is received through seeing), clairaudience (intuitive guidance that is received through hearing), claircognizance (intuitive guidance that is received through knowing), and clairsentience (intuitive guidance that is received through feeling). I believe these are the “psychic abilities” referred to in the Manual for Teachers (ACIM, M-25) and are one example of how we can use the body as a “means of communication” (ACIM, T-6.V-A.5:5).
Suddenly, it was as if a new perspective had opened before me. I saw that my sensitivity to loud noises, for instance, was an ego ploy that covered my ability to “hear” or receive messages of divine guidance (which is clairaudience). My bodily sensitivities kept my attention away from the “knowing” or “gut sense” of intuition (which is claircognizance). My sensitivity to my emotions had the ego purpose of keeping me feeling alone and separate, but this covered up my ability to intuitively feel the constant presence of love (which is clairsentience). And my sensitivity to the painful sights of the world covered up my ability to receive intuitive guidance through pictures and images (which is clairvoyance).
Sensitivities are a gift
I began to see my sensitivities as a gift! Rather than wishing them away, I could give my capacity for sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. Instead of sensitivities strengthening my identification with a body, they could be repurposed. The Holy Spirit could use my capacity for sensitivity to help me tune into the clairs, which are another means of connecting with the Holy Spirit.
I’ve come to realize that the clairs are how the Holy Spirit communicates with us. We are receiving guidance through our clairs all of the time. Each of us has every clair, although some may naturally be more dominant. Do you need to be a sensitive person to indicate that you have the clairs? Of course not! You have them no matter what. But if you are a sensitive person, know that your sensitivities do not mean that you’re doing the Course wrong. While the ego wants to use your sensitivities to keep you identified as a body, you can ask the Holy Spirit to repurpose sensitivities to reveal and deepen your communication channels.
I have learned some powerful teachings through the repurposing of my sensitivities. While ego sensitivities distract us from experiencing the body as a communication device, sensitivities also come with a hidden gift… the ability to sense the subtle.
A Course in Miracles says that “God is very quiet” (ACIM, T-11.III.1:6) and the ego’s song of death makes “loud discordant shrieks” (ACIM, P-2.VI.2:6). The ability to tune into the quiet subtleness of God in an ego-made world is a gift that abides in each of us. Sensing the subtle means sensing the truth that exists behind form.
Your ability to sense the subtle means that you can receive very strong intuitive guidance, which comes from the mind but is experienced in the body. You can “tune in” to your various clairs to feel, know, hear and see the ways in which the Holy Spirit is constantly speaking with you.
You might feel the love of God shining through all form as the “smallest leaf becomes a thing of wonder” (ACIM, T-17.II.6:3). You might get waves of “knowing” that wash over you that tell you do not walk alone as “God’s angels hover near and all about” (ACIM, W-ep.6:7). You might have more frequent moments of hearing one voice. And you might have “light episodes” as described by the Course (ACIM, W-15.3:1). These are clairsensory experiences, which come from a repurposed body, repurposed sensitivity, and the gift of sensing the subtle.
Your sensitivity is a gift. May you allow it to be repurposed so that you truly learn you do not walk alone.
If you’re interested in learning more about the clair senses, download my FREE eBook: The Clairs for Course Students: Enhance your Guidance as a Student of A Course in Miracles Through Clairvoyance, Clairaudience, Claircognizance and Clairsentience. It is available through this link.