The sneaky ego - A Course in MiraclesQuestion: Other people’s egos appear to be knocking on my ego’s door, wanting it to come out and play – GRRR! I have been speaking my truth with two people in my life and their egos have just been ripping me apart. One person is completely ignoring me and the other person is attacking me in their words. All in all, I am sending this to the Holy Spirit – yet it does effect me. I am hoping that you can give me some real, tight and loving guidance like you have done in the past! 

You’re so right when you say that people are showing up on your ego’s doorstep asking your ego to come out and “play!”  The ego’s version of play is not kind. This actually happens more often than we realize because the ego always speaks first and loudest. This is an example of the Course’s definition of “temptation” – and that is anything that comes forward for us that “tempts” us to keep believing that we are these bodies.

There are two things that come to mind for me…

First, “A happy learner does not feel guilty about learning.”  That means that we can’t avoid our lessons, we have to go through them. “Would you not go through fear to love?” If this situation is happening, it is for your learning.  If that means we feel we have to get angry, call someone out, etc., then we need to go through that.  So allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you are feeling.  Be where you are at.

A good question to ask yourself is, “Do I prefer to be right or happy?”  If we’re determined to be right, we can be sure we will stick with our ego and “play” with the other person’s ego.  If we want to be happy, we’re willing to play with the Holy Spirit instead. This play is happy and healing.

Secondly, good for you for remembering to take this to the Holy Spirit!  Keep doing so. Keep trying to find your willingness to see the situation differently.  Ask yourself, “Am I willing to see this differently?”  If you’re not, are you “willing to be willing to see this differently?”  Find that tiny bit of willingness and hand it to the Holy Spirit.

One of the prayers in ACIM that helps me SO MUCH is on page 90 in the FIP edition of A Course in Miracles:

I must have decided wrongly, because I am not at peace.
I made the decision myself, but I can also decide otherwise.
I want to decide otherwise, because I want to be at peace.
I do not feel guilty, because the Holy Spirit will undo all the consequences of my wrong decision if I will let Him.
I choose to let Him, by allowing Him to decide for God for me.

Isn’t it awesome that the Holy Spirit will UNDO the consequences of our wrong decision IF we let him?

If we’re experiencing anything other than perfect peace, WE have decided wrongly.  No one is doing anything to us… everything we’re experiencing is coming from our split mind, as a temptation to keep us believing that we’re separate (and in a body). You’re not {insert your name here}!!  You’re a Holy Child of God, just as each and every one of us is.

You’ve hired those other people to keep you believing that you’re a body (and they’re doing a good job – right? :))

Whatever the conflict seems to be, at some point, we will have to be willing to give the picture to the Holy Spirit and trust that “it is done already” – that healing is accomplished despite what the body’s eyes and ears show us.

Here are some Lesson suggestions to reinforce these principles:

Lesson 72: Holding grievances is an attack on God’s plan for salvation.

Lesson 196: It can be but myself I crucify

Lesson 121: Forgiveness is the key to happiness

Lesson 121 has a great visualization in it where we can imagine seeing light in our “enemy,” then in a “friend,” and then extending that light to ourselves.  That person is not separate from you. This exercise can help us touch that truth.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that we can’t just quote the Course to ourselves or to another.  We actually have to put the principles into ACTION. I had a recent experience where I was being verbally attacked, and I held steady with being willing to trust that the Holy Spirit IS IN this other person.  Although my ego was very tempted to “play,” I stayed with my willingness to see the Holy Spirit in the other person.  The situation ended up resolving quite quickly and ultimately, quite peacefully. It was a miracle indeed.