If you ever struggle with feeling like you’re not good enough, you’re not alone. Most everyone has felt some form of inadequacy at some point in their lives. It comes with the territory of being primarily identified as a body – a separate, personal self (aka ego).
Low self-worth serves a fabulous purpose for the ego. When we’re caught in it, it keeps our focus on our individual self, and away from the awareness of the Love that we are. This makes the ego happier than a squealing pig in you-know-what! Low self-worth is simply another ego tactic to ensure the ego stays strong.
The way to allow low self-worth to be undone, is to come to know who you TRULY are. Who you truly are has NOTHING to do with what you do, what you think, what you achieve, or how you look. In fact, your self-worth has nothing to do with your body what-so-ever.
“…nothing you do or think or wish or make is necessary to establish your worth.”
“Your worth is established by God.” (FIP T-4.I.7)
You have two different selves: a Self vs. self. The capital “S” self is perfect and eternal and has not left the state of Perfect Love. The lowercase “s” self, is the self we have chosen to identify with in this world.
How badly you feel about yourself is a PERFECT barometer for how much you are in your ego. If you think you suck, you’re identified with your “self” (lowercase “s”). The flip side can also be true… if you think you’re the best thing since sliced bread and a super duper special person, you’re identified with your self (lowercase “s”).
We must get to know our True Self (capital “S”), which is a part of our mind beyond the body. When we begin to identify with our capital-“S” Self we learn that our worth is beyond anything that we could do in this world. We might get some comfort from intellectually understanding that we are of this Self, but we can go further than this. If we stop at intellectually understanding that we are of this Higher Self, we’ll likely develop a healthy spiritual ego (lowercase “s” self), which thinks it KNOWS what that “Self” is. Yet, “A Course in Miracles” teaches that our ego and the Holy Spirit (or our “self” and our “Self”) do not and cannot know one another. Instead, we can look at our feelings about our “self”, WITH the Holy Spirit. As we give our perceptions about our “self” to Spirit, we gain that shift in perception (the miracle), which brings forth experiences that teach us that we have a “Self” that is more real than our “self.”
So simply stated, the true antidote to low-self worth is to look at whatever is coming up WITH Spirit, to be willing to see it differently.
Here is some suggested self-talk:
- “I am aware that I am feeling bad about myself. I acknowledge this is simply a feeling from my ego that is not true. I am willing to look at this feeling WITH Spirit, in order to see it differently.”
- “My worth is beyond anything I can do in this world. I am willing to allow Spirit to show me what my worth is.”
- “I am a Holy aspect in the Mind of Love. Nothing I can do, and nothing that I have been through can change that. I am willing to be taught who I truly am.”
This quote from A Course in Miracles sums things up perfectly:
Your worth is not established by teaching or learning. Your worth is established by God. As long as you dispute this everything you do will be fearful, particularly any situation that lends itself to the belief in superiority and inferiority. Teachers must be patient and repeat their lessons until they are learned. I am willing to do this, because I have no right to set your learning limits for you. Again, – nothing you do or think or wish or make is necessary to establish your worth. This point is not debatable except in delusions. Your ego is never at stake because God did not create it. Your spirit is never at stake because He did. Any confusion on this point is delusional, and no form of devotion is possible as long as this delusion lasts. (FIP T-4.I.7)