For a period of about two weeks, I found that I was being visited by old tempting thoughts from the ego. In an addictive, almost seductive manner, the ego repeatedly offered me the following old thoughts that I used to really struggle with: “What does this physical symptom mean?” “It means you must have a something terribly wrong with you…” “Here…. Take this thought. Take it… take it.” “You have cause for worry. Take the fear thought…”

It felt like the ego was offering me these tempting thoughts, much like the monster “No Face” offers gold nuggets to the characters in one of my all-time FAVORITE movies, “Spirited Away.” Notice in the very beginning of this video clip how “No Face” offers gold through its coaxing “Ah, Ah, Ah…”:

When we take even the smallest “Ah, Ah” “gifts” of the ego, it gobbles us up and we become consumed by it, much like a frog was devoured by “No Face” earlier in this film.

Throughout this “old-pattern-filled” two-week period, I felt vacillation between pure peace and pure fear. Other times, I felt a subtle sense of un-ease. What was new, however, was that I became aware of a feeling BENEATH the fear and un-ease that I was not previously aware of… guilt. I soon became aware that beneath every feeling that is anything other than peace, there is a subtle undercurrent of guilt.

A Course in Miracles teaches that we carry deep unconscious guilt and fear because we believe that actually pulled off the separation from our Source. As this guilt comes to the surface of our awareness, it is essential that we look at it WITH Spirit. Anything that comes up, is coming up because it is an opportunity for healing. It is an opportunity to “choose again.”

Throughout the entire two weeks, DESPITE what the ego was telling me and the moments of fear I was experiencing, I was willing to turn to the Holy Spirit. As I looked at the guilt WITH Spirit, I experienced miracles, shifts in perception from fear, back to love. Ultimately, the strain I was feeling simply fell away, and only peace remained.

We will vacillate between Spirit and the ego until we fully realize that all of the joy we think can be found in this world can ONLY be found through recognizing the TRUTH of Who We Are. As we continue to be willing to deny our denial of truth, we experience miracles, our trust in the Holy Spirit grows, and our awareness of our True Identity becomes more clear to us. We need not feel guilty for vacillating, because it is part of our journey of awakening as we loosen our grip on the ego, and open our hands to simply receive the awareness of what we already are… the very Light and Love of God.

So when you feel fear in ANY form, know that it is of the ego. Notice in the un-ease if there is even the SLIGHTEST twinge of guilt present, and be willing to take this guilt to Spirit to see it differently.

Have you been noticing yourself vacillate between fear and Love? Feel free to share how this shows up for you, and how you shift out of it in the comments below!


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