“Choosing love” is a popular thought lately. We want to “choose to see with love” instead of fear, instead of pain, and instead of conflict. Sounds lovely!
But what does this actually mean?
Several years ago, I was walking a 5-mile trail during a rather crowded day, and I decided that I wanted to “choose love” and “bless” everyone who walked by. With every person who passed me, I smiled and silently said, “bless you” to them. After about 1 mile or so, I was COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED!!
I was speaking with a friend the other day and she was describing a conflict-filled situation at work, and how she was trying to choose to see with love. “I’m trying to see the positive, and to see the light and love in this co-worker… but I’m at my wits end!!” she exclaimed. “Things aren’t changing at work and I feel like I’m sinking and unable to see with love!!”
When we try to “choose to see with love” BY OURSELVES, we will eventually get burned out. There might be some temporary positive effects, but they will be just that – temporary. The ego might back off for a while, but it will still be alive and well. It is free to rear it’s ugly head again.
If we’re trying to “choose love” by ourselves, we can easily slip into doing the Holy Spirit’s job for Him/Her (which “A Course in Miracles” is asking us NOT to do)!
Instead, we’re asked to take what we see, our beliefs, our judgments, our perceived needs, wants, and desires TO the Holy Spirit (aka our “Inner Guide” or “Inner Teacher”). In taking our perceptions to the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit CHOOSES LOVE FOR US. We actually don’t have a clue how to do this!! If we think we know how to choose for Love, we can end up misguided, following the teacher who makes us unhappy (the ego!!).
One of my FAVORITE “A Course in Miracles” prayers is on page 90 of the FIP edition, and page 99 of the Original edition:
I must have decided wrongly because I am not at peace.
I made the decision myself, but I can also decide otherwise.
I want to decide otherwise, because I want to be at peace.
I do not feel guilty, because the Holy Spirit will UNDO all the consequences of my wrong decision if I will let Him.
I choose to let Him, by allowing Him to decide for God FOR ME. (emphasis added; FIP edition T-5.VII.6)
We allow the Holy Spirit to “choose for Love” for us (or “decide for God for us”) by bringing EVERY belief and perception that we hold to the Holy Spirit as we are ready and willing. I’ve been using the phrase, “Holy Spirit, I’m willing to look at this WITH you” because it requires even less effort than “handing it over” to the Holy Spirit – and it works just as well!
Several months after my exhausting bless-everybody-5-mile-walk, I was walking again, and this time had a very different experience. Everyone that I passed, I felt love for. I felt a connection with each person I passed, and a connection with everything around me. The love came THROUGH me and was completely effortless. This experience showed me I was beginning to learn to get out of the way, because I was finally choosing to turn to the Holy Spirit, rather than choose for love by myself.
To make the choice to “choose love” we’re simply choosing to give our perceptions to the Holy Spirit. That is all. The love perception is then GIVEN to us. It is always an exchange. We gain the EXPERIENCE of seeing with love – and this is an experience we did not make or force to happen by ourselves.
I’d love to hear your miracles, thoughts, and experiences! Share with me in the comments below…
I love your perspective on this- that we need to work with spirit to achieve this love. That makes me feel comforted to know I don’t have to do it alone. I was in a very similar work situation that your friend was having- trying to see a person with love and still ending up frustrated and angry. I think I was just trying way too hard and expecting too much of myself!
I was wondering if you’ve been taking part in the Chopra Centre Meditation Challenge, as Choosing Love was the theme a day or two ago, and I was wondering what this means!
I’ve also just managed to get a copy of A Course in Miracles from the library. It looks like a heavy read, but I’m gonna try dipping in here and there. Look forward to reading your thoughts on it.
Rachel
Hi Rachel! I totally agree that it is so comforting to know that we don’t have to do it alone.
I’ve heard about the challenge, and that is neat that choosing love was the theme! ACIM is definitely a heavier read, so you’ll definitely have to let me know what you think! It was a life changer for me.
Blessings!
Thank you for sharing this Corinne. It really give me a huge sense of relief to know I don’t have to be strong enough, because it is not me, but God’s love within me that does the work.
I am a social worker/therapist and this is something I need to really take to heart in my line of work.
Thanks again!
Hey Jillian – I have a counseling background so I know exactly what you mean about taking this to heart in your work. It is such a relief that what is IN us does the work – it is like a built-in burn-out protector.
Thank you for this insight…I changed the prayer a little more…to Will you look at this For me….sort of like when I check over my child’s homework.
Anyway..it was an instant relief….pme.
Love it Patricia!
Great article, Corinne. I can relate, to both sides of the coin. It’s so much easier to let it be done FOR us. I often get to that place after I’m exhausted and holler, “Help!”
Thanks Lorri! I OFTEN holler, “help!!” 🙂
This is a great way of looking at it Corinne. I remember you talking about this at the ACIM study group (last Wednesday?) I try to see things from a different perspective and can’t seem to do it on my own. Then I get frustrated with myself. I ask God to change me, and when I don’t get instant results, I feel cheated and abandoned. But if I allow the Holy Spirit to see it for me, and I become willing to see things from the Holy Spirit’s eyes – and if I invite the Holy Spirit to use me as a vehicle for this perception – well, what can I say? A kinder, gentler approach, is it not? It sounds much less frustrating and therefore much less exhausting! I will give this one a chance.Thanks for sharing this Corinne.
That was beautifully said Rick!! Our biggest challenge is to learn how to get out of our own way. The love is waiting to shine through us.
Hi, Connie… loved this but I would add one “adjustment”… The HS helps us undo the blocks in us that prevent us from seeing the perfection in our brother (sister)… we then see their perfect, healed whole Self and, in experiencing this, we remember Who we are… it’s a minor distinction, but I think it is worth understanding that the Love doesn’t flow through us,… it’s already there!! That’s all we ARE!! Our part is to be WIlling to let the blocks to our awareness of IT be removed by the Holy Spirit.
In Loving Oneness…
Frank C
A perfect clarification Frank! That Love IS what we are! 🙂 Thank you so much!
Corinne,
This post has helped me so much! I realized I’ve been doing exactly what you were doing on the trail the first time–trying to love everybody even when I didn’t feel it. And I wondered why I kept feeling burned out!!! Even worse, rage would suddenly come up with my family members over sometimes small things, and I couldn’t figure out what was going on. It was as if the harder I “worked” at ACIM principles, the worse I got as a person. Now I get it. It’s not me doing all the work, it’s me continually being willing to allow the Holy Spirit to break down the barriers. Yes!
Meg
Awesome Meg! Your example is really powerful! We’re asked to do so little… we just have to get out of the way and let the Holy Spirit do the work through us.
Thank you for this Corine. I have very strong social anxiety and reading this, as well as following A Course In Miracles (up to lesson (306) now), I think I finally get it. Reading what you shared really helped me to now finally understand what ACIM meant about choosing the Holy Spirit, when previously I did not fully understand. I am now practicing to give all my perceptions to Holy Spirit. I have written down your line – “To make the choice to “choose love” we’re simply choosing to give our perceptions to the Holy Spirit. That is all.” and it now makes sense. I also think in the beginning, it is hard for us to give all our perceptions to Holy Spirit because the ego wants to hold onto our perceptions, because perceptions, which are illusions, give ego identity, which is further separation, and without illusions (created from perceptions), it has nothing to use to solidify its existence in a dream. The ego needs illusions to exist, because itself is not real. When we are willing to give our perceptions to Holy Spirit, we are choosing love by letting go of illusions because we only want to see truth (what is real). By giving our perceptions to Holy Spirit, He can exchange our illusions with love, and this is His role that we cannot do on our own. Thank you 🙂
Corine, do you know if “Christ vision” often mentioned in A Course in Miracles is the same as seeing with Holy Spirit? Same as all that you mentioned here?
Richard, thank you for your wonderful comment! I am right there with you, brother. I resonate with everything you’re saying and your beautiful insights. It is all spot on.
Regarding “Christ vision” – yes, everything I mention here is how we open to Christ vision. Christ vision sees completely beyond the body to our True Identity. Being willing to “see with” the Holy Spirit is how Christ vision is restored to us. So they’re essentially the same. To me, the subtle nuance is that the Holy Spirit’s vision restores our Christ vision. In other words, Holy Spirit sees what we’ve made (the world) and is not deceived by it… Holy Spirit looks straight past it to the truth beyond. That “truth beyond” is Christ vision. Christ vision sees ONLY that which is our True Identity.
I like these sentences from the Course: “The Holy Spirit keeps the vision of Christ for every Son of God who sleeps” (from FIP edition T-12.VI.4) and “Christ’s vision is the Holy Spirit’s gift” (from the Preface: “What it says”).
I hope that helps!
She wants to choose love. She hate her self. She had a near death experience where she wasn’t allowed to go through the tunnel. She was sent back here. Today, she read, that in order to go through the tunnel you have to choose love. In her life there have been many kinds and times of abuse (cult like family). She became a Christian at about 12 years old. At about 15 ears old, confusion and religious abuse, she chose not to trust love – safer = and at 50+ she doesn’t trust religion or spirituality. Today she goes to work with her work face, smiling and professional. She is told her work is exceptional, above and beyond but she is empty. She’s had sucidal thoughts almost every day since 14. No courage to die or to live, to be touched or to be alone. Better to not be in the body but not knowing where she would be if dead. In order to not show this mess, she has to be dishonest, to protect – safer. If the past could be erased. please pray it could be.
Sandy, I have heard of people having a hard time being back in the realm of form after an NDE. I strongly encourage you to reach out for support and help because you are not alone, and you don’t have to suffer. There is an organization called IANDS who may be a great resource. Please reach out to them as they provide support to people who have had NDE’s: https://iands.org/resources/support.html . And if you find yourself struggling with suicidal thoughts, please call a helpline like http://www.crisisservicescanada.ca/ (In Canada) or https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ in the USA. You are here for a reason and love is who you are. I’m sending you so much love and many blessings.