As students of “A Course in Miracles” we “get” the whole idea that the body isn’t real and that this is all an illusion.

But if you’re like me, I wake up everyday thinking that I am Corinne and that I am limited to an existence in a body.  “Getting” the idea of this world being an illusion is often an intellectual understanding – the “knowing” comes as we LIVE the Course.

For my 35th birthday, I got a lovely present from my doctor… a prescription for my first mammogram! I could hardly breathe while being squished between two plexiglass plates.

When the technician said “Umm… I think we’re going to need you to stay for an ultrasound too,” I had that familiar feeling of doom creeping in. I knew that everything was likely fine as I’ve been living with a benign condition for years, but my ego was tempting me with thoughts of terrible outcomes.

As I sat in the waiting area for my unexpected ultrasound, I thought about what we are being asked to do as Course students, while seemingly on this planet.

Heaven is not something that we choose for once we are on our deathbeds. Our task is to learn how to choose for Heaven RIGHT NOW, even when we’re freaked out and facing scary circumstances.  Our choice for Heaven is not simply at the point of death.

“Rest in peace” is a blessing for the living, not the dead, because rest comes from waking, not from sleeping. T-8.IX.3

If I were to be diagnosed with a terrible disease, my task THEN would be EXACTLY the same as it is NOW…  to have willingness to bring my thoughts, perceptions, and hidden beliefs to the Holy Spirit to be exchanged for truth instead. Our “hidden beliefs” are what the Course is asking us to look at with our Inner Teacher. These “hidden beliefs” consist of any thought that we think apart from God, and these thoughts take countless forms (e.g. that I am separate, that I have needs, that I want things to turn out a certain way…).

Somehow, just knowing that my task is the same, regardless of however the picture appears, restores my peace.  It restores my peace because I know that at minimum, I am ALWAYS willing to have willingness.  I KNOW that when I turn to the Holy Spirit, peace flows (and if I don’t accept that peace right away, I know it will come when I am ready). When my willingness is strong, it is effortless to turn to the Holy Spirit.  When my willingness is lacking, I am willing to allow it to grow. We CAN’T fail! Willingness is everything.

So my choice is always, do I want to procrastinate and avoid turning to the Holy Spirit (which I am free to do)? Or do I want to WORK the Course’s principles because I KNOW they will bring me peace, whether I am seemingly here on this planet for 50 more years or 1 more day…

Peace isn’t about the picture “out there.”  Peace is about an experience that lies beyond the picture.

The Course prompts us to consider the question, “What is it for?”

In any situation in which you are uncertain, the first thing to consider, very simply, is “What do I want to come of this? What is it for?” The clarification of the goal belongs at the beginning, for it is this which will determine the outcome. T-17.VI.2

What was this situation with an unexpected ultrasound for?? It was for one of two things.  It was either going to be used by my ego to keep my belief in separation going (that I am a body that can be hurt), OR it was going to be an opportunity to bring what I’m thinking, seeing, and feeling to the Holy Spirit, to allow the Holy Spirit to show me the truth behind the picture.

The power to decide is mine (and each one of ours). We alone are each responsible for whether we dilly-dally, or whether we exercise our power of decision by allowing the Holy Spirit to be our guide.

My peace is BACK, baby!

And all is well.

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